


it’s not fair how much I love you

by kickassfu



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Geralt's POV, Humor, M/M, Yearning for days, geralt is emotionally stunted, i don't know where this fits in the show, jaskier knows what's up, lambert shows up for a little, maybe before the actual big fight?, maybe there isn't any big fight cause fuck that lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23059315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: Jaskier wasn’t the problem. Geralt was. He took his frustrations on Jaskier unfairly, when the bard hadn’t done anything wrong. And still Jaskier, persisted by his side, over and over again, until he snapped. Gave Geralt what he wanted. What he thought he wanted.Peace.But he can’t feel peace. Not without Jaskier by his side.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 5
Kudos: 191





	it’s not fair how much I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Got this prompt on tumblr (send me more pls): After Geralt snaps at the bard a few times too many, annoyed by all the noise, Jaskier leaves him alone. Geralt's happy to finally get some peace and quiet (or so he thinks). The next time he runs into the bard, he's traveling with another witcher and appears to be having the time of his life. Suddenly that peace and quiet is not worth it, and he tries to get him back
> 
> which is really cool, but i can't read for shit, and it ended up being a little different lol also I've only seen the show, my knowledge of Lambert is basically other fics I've read and the wiki said he was rude and a bit of an asshole lol so i have no idea if he's IC or not.
> 
> Hope you like this anyway. I tried. but my brain is fried -.-'

Jaskier was starting to grate on his nerves, too much time spent together made Geralt feel itchy and twitchy; he needed time alone, to breathe. By now there were too many things piling up, ready to blow up.

_One time._ Big things.

“Just shut the fuck up already Jaskier.” Geralt screamed, frustrated at how little the bard cared for the seriousness of the situation. He was trying to fucking hunt, and his incessant yammering wasn’t helping one bit.

“You know what, you’ve been very snappy lately. And as much as I enjoy your company, I’m starting to get a bit tired of-”

“Quiet.”

“Fine.” Jaskier glared at him and flipped him off, trying his best to keep himself silent.

_Two times._ Small things.

“You either shut it, or I’ll smash that fucking lute over your head.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

_Three times._ Stupid things.

They’re on the road, as per usual; Geralt mounting Roach and Jaskier walking besides them, surprisingly silent. And still, Geralt was annoyed, sleep-deprived, grumpy.

“Did you know you snore really loudly, it’s like you’re torturing me on purpose. I just don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”

Jaskier looked ready to throw his shoe at his head, angry and frustrated, and something else Geralt couldn’t quite figure out, “Geralt, I know I can be annoying on my best days. But fucking hell, you’re insufferable. And I’m done. _I get it_. The emotional constipated Witcher needs his me-time, fine. You could have just said that. I’m not your little punching bag, I’m your friend!”

“Not a frien-”

“I’m your _friend_. We both know it. Stop doing that.” Jaskier interrupted Geralt, before he could deny their relationship, gesticulating so hard Geralt wondered how his hands hadn’t flown off yet.

They stared at each other for a bit, neither saying anything, just waiting for _something_.

“ _Ugh_.” Jaskier started, tired of waiting, “Listen carefully Geralt of Rivia, you’ll miss me when I’m gone. Mark my words.”

“Sure, if thinking that makes you feel better.” he shrugged.

Geralt wasn’t sure why, but Jaskier’s eyes twinkled, a small smile pulling at his soft lips, as he walked away shouting, “Well then, I’ll be going now. Away from you. To let you get some Godsdamned peace, like you’ve so desired.”

Seeing him walk the opposite way made him feel...well, that was what he wanted. He pulled on Roach’s reins, and started galloping towards the next village.

* * *

There was something wrong.

_Missing._

His heart beat out of synch, his hands clenching, yearning to touch something, _someone’s_ skin. But not anyone’s…

The silence too loud, too lonely, too much. Even the conversations with Roach couldn’t breach that tender hurt, couldn’t mend it.

The singing birds, the buzzing insects, nature’s song lacking when compared to Jaskier’s soft voice, his longing melodies and carefully chosen words.

_Fuck._

Geralt missed Jaskier.

Remembering his words, ‘you’ll miss me when I’m gone’ he groaned. Thinking back on it, he had been reticent watching him leave, as if he’d take a piece of him as he went. But if he loved his voice so much, why did it grate him so?

Only being able to focus on Jaskier instead of focusing on the hunt. Never letting him stay alone; too dangerous. Staying awake, listening to his breathing, watching the rise and fall of his chest, right there next to him. His singing voice haunting his dreams, turning to moans and-

_Oh._

_Fuck._

Jaskier wasn’t the problem. Geralt was. He took his frustrations on Jaskier unfairly, when the bard hadn’t done anything wrong. And still Jaskier, persisted by his side, over and over again, until he snapped. Gave Geralt what he wanted. What he _thought_ he wanted.

Peace.

But he can’t feel peace. Not without Jaskier by his side.

Well, they’ll meet up eventually. Sooner rather than later, and would travel together again.

And maybe he’d apologize.

Maybe.

* * *

Eventually, after months passed, Geralt had settled the hunger for Jaskier a bit more, learned to be by himself again. Knowing that missing puzzle piece would fit right in there, when they finally met again.

Which is ironic, that the moment he starts feeling more like himself, is when he sees him. Sitting in the corner table of the tavern. With someone else. Laughing, touching the man’s arm, apparently having the time of his life.

Geralt could feel his crooked heart twist inside his chest, _did you not miss me as I missed you?_ The loud voice in his head screamed, and he quieted, reminding it he had sent the bard away.

No matter.

Walking towards the pair, Geralt unceremoniously sat next to Jaskier, glaring at the man, _Witcher_ , sitting in front of them. Jaskier jumping a little, startled by his sudden appearance, his hand clutching his chest.

“Lambert.” he practically growled out the name, tasting sour in his mouth.

“Geralt, what’s got you all hot and bothered?” Lambert smiled knowingly.

Lambert looked at him like a friend, while Geralt glared and glared and-

Jaskier broke the tension, “Hi Geralt, I’m also here. Lovely to meet you after so long.”

Slowly, Geralt glanced at the bard; his bard, his friend, his- words once again failing him, “Hm.”

“Lambert, sweetheart, isn’t Geralt a great conversationalist? I’ll honestly never get tired of his engaging and thought provoking observations.” Jaskier joked, rolling his eyes.

At that, Geralt and Lambert spoke at the same time; Geralt spouting a confused “ _Sweetheart?_ ” and Lambert laughing out, “I know. Wish I could be that good.”

Time stopped, and Geralt immediately regretted having spoken at all when he sees the amused looks Lambert and Jaskier share; a silent understanding, as if they could speak with only their eyes, leaving Geralt out of the conversation completely.

Didn’t feel good.

“What’s wrong with him calling me sweetheart? I quite like the word out of his pretty little lips.”

Geralt wanted to pick Jaskier up and drag him away with him, so Lambert would never look at his lips ever again. So he’d never hear Jaskier call him sweetheart again. So-

He doesn’t do it. And he couldn’t lash out at Jaskier, no, not after everything. And he _knew_ Lambert was just being a fucking asshole, as always, trying to get a rise out of him.

Why was Jaskier quiet through it all? When before, _with him_ , he hardly kept his mouth shut?

He had many choices, but only two that felt like actual, easily accomplished, choices. Getting up and walking away from the mess, from Jaskier or look at the bard, forget that Lambert was even there and apologize.

Walking away sounds better.

Easy.

Before he can do it, Lambert speaks up again, mocking him, “Ok I’ve had my fun, I’m leaving. Now this is getting too pathetic even for me. If he starts being a fucker again, feel free to come to me little bird. I have better stories than he does anyway, and I’m better company.”

“Yes, thank you for the help Lambert. You have been a delight and a pleasure.”

“And we’re both wonderful liars, which is why we got along.”

They both laughed, with their little, stupid, inside jokes, that Geralt absolutely hated, and then Lambert was gone.

There was only Jaskier and himself left. Well, at that table at least. And still…still, he couldn’t bring himself to look into Jaskier’s eyes, too scared of what he’ll see there.

Exasperated, Jaskier moved from where he sat, to where Lambert had been sitting. Face to face with his Witcher.

“You’re an idiot.”

Geralt looked offended, crossing his arms defensively, but offered no defense, no hm’s, nothing.

“I’m not angry at you, you silly, silly man.” at Geralt’s glare, he rectified, “Silly _Witcher_ , not man, I know.”

“Why?”

“Having to ask that is what makes you an idiot.” Jaskier smiles, licking his lips, an eyebrow raised.

Uncrossing his arms, Geralt leaned on the table, needing to know his answer, to understand his words, see his face, “Fine, I’m an idiot. Why?”

“You never sent me away. Even as you shouted like a lunatic, you didn’t tell me to leave. You never even left me behind. Believe me or not, I can’t outrun a horse. If you wanted to get rid of me, it was actually really easy.”

Geralt was digesting his words, thinking back on all the time they were together.

“At the end there, when I told you that I understood, I waited for you to leave on Roach. You didn’t.”

“What?”

“You waited for me to leave you. You literally couldn’t bring yourself to leave me, it was adorable.” it was his turn to lean on the table, their faces so close together now, “Your body is smarter than your brain, maybe you should use it more often.”

“I’m sorry. For lashing out. It- it wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have.” his voice was somber, but honest.

Jaskier patted Geralt’s face tenderly, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear, “I know, sexual frustration is a bitch. You’re forgiven.”

“Wait-”

“Don’t try to deny it. You’re attracted to me, the Lambert experience showed that quite well. You’re cute jealous.”

“What-”

“I’m also attracted to you, obviously. If you didn’t know that…” Jaskier rolled his eyes, and got up, “So when, you get your head out of your arse, just know that I’m available for you. Always.”

Jaskier walked away from him, left the tavern, leaving him sitting there in shock.

Too much information at the same time. It didn’t really matter though.

_Fuck._

His bard had him wrapped around his little finger, getting up he went after him.

Geralt wasn’t about to let him leave his side again.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
